• For those with wings fly to your dreams

    Moving again: things learned

    Well things have come to an impasse with me and my live in landlord, so I'm looking for another place to stay.

    I don't believe in the "cuss you out on the internet" theory, let me just say that double standards and control-ism is not my thing. Neither is age-ism for that matter. He has a way of making everything somebody else's fault, not accepting responsibility. But I've never had a roomie leave me, and I've only mutually(i.e no fighting or police involvement) decided to move twice for the better part of 8 years of living with roommates. About 80% of the people I've lived with I'm still in contact with (albeit this is thanks to facebook), basically people like me and I'm a good roommate. My landlord has had 3 roommates leave in 12 month period. Let the facts stand for themselves.

    I know that everything happens for a reason, there was some reason the Lord wanted me to live there for the time I did. It was close enough for me to bike or walk to work, it was near a major street and lots of public transportation so I got to get the hang of BART and AC transit. It also allowed to be able to maneuver my way around here. So now that I'm moving again I kinda have an idea of what I'm looking for and what I want. Some of things I learned were:

    1. When a person says they don't like having room-mates, they've never had room-mates until now. Especially when they're more established, red flag.

    2. When somebody gives 30 days notice the day you move in, definite red flag.

    3. When somebody shows you who they are (yelling, slamming, calling cops) and say I'd never do that to you. Don't believe that.

    4. At my age, I'm looking for people who've been in school, military, corps, etc. Basically people who've lived with room-mates in the recent past.

    5. With that said, I think I've been scarred out of renting a room in somebody's house. Looking for a more roommate situation.

    6. There's nothing wrong with having house rules, it doesn't make you uptight and especially if I do rent a room in somebody's house that's got to be there. It sounds silly but to me my biggest pet peeve was him leaving his dishes for days, piling up and then him fussing because I'd come home at nite wash his dishes, cook something and then didn't have the energy to wash my own pan.

    7. This is the biggie: just go by the lease. If you're lease says rent plus utilities, pay the utilities. Even if they say "I didn't know you're a student whatever, don't worry about it", pay the utilities. Though if you're in an all inclusive situation and you can spare it, it is nice to offer to contribute during the winter months or if you've had a guest stay for more than a weekend.

    I've learned so much in the past few months. Living with room-mates before gave me insight but this experience has been majorly eye-opening.

    till next time,




    About me

    I'm a 20-something Southern girl living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I've been working in the wild and wacky world of non-profit green construction in one way or the other for over 3 years. I'm also the owner of Oakland's own Engineered Cupcake.