• For those with wings fly to your dreams

    How Dating and Job Hunting are alike

    I got this email last week or so from Andiamo  that started: "Dating and job hunting have more in common than you might think.  Here are 6 ways that job hunting might give you dating déjà vu" I've excised the obvious advertising but here's their plug: they're a IT and sales recruiting agency. website

    1. Know what you want. Tall, dark, and white collar or windblown surfer start-up, when it comes to a romantic partner we know what we like without thinking too much about it. We’re attracted to people who ‘fit’ and ‘get’ us. The same is true about the kind of company you work for. It may take some soul searching to find out what you prefer.
      So true! The other thing I've noticed in both job searching and romantic endeavors is, to quote a Lauryn Hill album line "What seems right, may not be right for you" 
    2. Know where to find it. Ask all of your coupled friends how they met and you’ll get just as many answers! The key is to get out there and look everywhere. There is a reason it’s called a job hunt.
      Interesting concept. Really get out there and look everywhere? Not sure how I feel about that one
    3. Put your best foot forward.  Do you remember the date who showed up late, smelly, and who talked only of themselves? Yeah, me neither. I’m sure he/she was a great person but never got a second date because everything about him or her said, “I don’t care.” Don’t let that happen to you!  You have to not only make them believe you are special, but that they are special as well.  I try to do this. Albeit my city life makes certain aspects tricky. For example, my work clothes are pretty tomboy-ish and sometimes plans are made that I can't go back home in between work and the date. So I may change a shirt or something, or just show up. Learning about our similar interests is one of the best parts, I love to ask questions about folk. And it's no secret that when I like somebody, romantic or otherwise I will bake for them till they're in a sugar coma. lol.
    4. Don't badmouth your exes. As tempting as it might be to explain that you left your last job because your boss was crazy or that your previous company was mismanaged, sharing these feelings could reflect badly on you.Seriously though, I hate it when folk do that. Especially the first date, already a new info overload as it is. Eventually it's likely to  come up as you exchange life experiences. And it's true some ex-es are just plain bad but let us look forward to a bright future ahead. 
    5. The next day follow-up. Would you wait around after a fantastic date with your dream girl/guy to see if s/he calls you?  Send an email to follow up or a handwritten note if that is more your style.

      I could learn alot from this one. I have the classic guy move of waiting 2-4 days.  We never worry about being over-eager when we send thank-you notes after interviews, why so with dates?
    6. Give it time. Understand that a job search is not a one-night stand, or even a summer romance. This is a process that could take several months.

      Now what about summer jobs or contract work? Isn't that kind of like that. This is the love-cynic in me speaking. As long as you know what you're getting yourself into. But being aware that like temporary positions, you never know what may happen. You might decide to join the circus when it leaves town. It may be love. The tax office may hire you as a year long employee. One of you may end up with child, if it's biologically possible.  Just keep that in mind.

      The other thing is alot of us get caught up, at certain age or stage of life thinking we've got to find someone. I'm guilty of it myself, there's this small southern belle part of me that still thinks if I'm not married by 30 it probably won't ever happen. Logically I know that's false but culture has a funny way of affecting you.
    You know one thing I learned the most from reading this? I am not at all enthused about the prospect of dating. I just don't want it bad enough. Dating is just one of those things that tends to "happen to me" rather than me seeking it out. However on rare occasion I fall, I fall hard. There's a reason my life's mantra is "Go big or go home!"  It's  similar to my job hunt. For awhile I was content not to really search, than I decided I wanted to volunteer in Americorp  and the whole Operation Hire Jasmine. However in someways this is different. Dating isn't the end all and be all, I'd not consider starting a "marry Jasmine" website. Though I know some people who have thought about it, lol. Being an engineer is very important to me whereas getting married is not a goal of my life. If it happens, it happens, if not I have enough love in my life with my friends and family

     I've never had a job that I didn't like, there was always something that kept me wanting to go there each day. Even the temp jobs, and when they were over I looked back fondly for what it was. But one thing I've never done is settle in a job search. I only apply for jobs I want.  That's definitely something to remember.

    Happy Thursday,



    About me

    I'm a 20-something Southern girl living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I've been working in the wild and wacky world of non-profit green construction in one way or the other for over 3 years. I'm also the owner of Oakland's own Engineered Cupcake.